Android phones let you change your screen timeout - the length of time before your screen goes black and locks and you need to press the button to wake it back up.
It turns out that setting your screen timeout to 1 second is not a good idea.
You may find that there is very little you can do with a smartphone in 1 second or less.
And your repair technician may nearly hurt herself laughing so hard.
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Tin Hat Time
Fault Description: handset has possibile firm/spyware virus needs to be completely wiped and possible IMEI swap, when handset has been connected to a laptop and wifi services they have crashed.
1. There is no Android virus (code that inserts itself into another programme or data). There are Android trojans (code that doesn't do what it says it does), though.
2. What the hell does your IMEI have to do with it?
3. YOU HAVEN'T DOWNLOADED ANYTHING. I CHECKED. NOTHING. NO APPS. NO CAT PICTURES. YOU HAVEN'T. DOWNLOADED. ANYTHING.
4. I couldn't actually find anything wrong with the handset. I'm not saying you're complete crap with computers, but our computers and wifi didn't crash.
Final diagnosis: I think there's a loose nut behind the keyboard.
1. There is no Android virus (code that inserts itself into another programme or data). There are Android trojans (code that doesn't do what it says it does), though.
2. What the hell does your IMEI have to do with it?
3. YOU HAVEN'T DOWNLOADED ANYTHING. I CHECKED. NOTHING. NO APPS. NO CAT PICTURES. YOU HAVEN'T. DOWNLOADED. ANYTHING.
4. I couldn't actually find anything wrong with the handset. I'm not saying you're complete crap with computers, but our computers and wifi didn't crash.
Final diagnosis: I think there's a loose nut behind the keyboard.
Monday, 25 February 2013
A Good Customer!
Every day, I get phones where the customer didn't bother sending the battery (when they're complaining about short battery life), phones where the customer sent a fake knockoff battery, phones where the customer sent a battery swollen into a balloon, phones where the customer sent a battery from a different model, if not a different manufacturer.
But today, I got a customer with power problems who sent in two batteries: a gen-u-ine battery from 2009, and a gen-u-ine battery from 2010, both in good shape except that they no longer work.
Bless your little cotton socks.
Sadly, both batteries are long out of warranty. But the Battery Fairy magically transformed them into one 2011 working battery. The Battery Fairy does not charge for this. The Battery Fairy only appears for customers who are both nice and lucky.
But today, I got a customer with power problems who sent in two batteries: a gen-u-ine battery from 2009, and a gen-u-ine battery from 2010, both in good shape except that they no longer work.
Bless your little cotton socks.
Sadly, both batteries are long out of warranty. But the Battery Fairy magically transformed them into one 2011 working battery. The Battery Fairy does not charge for this. The Battery Fairy only appears for customers who are both nice and lucky.
Frankenphone
Nevermind what they said was wrong with this phone; what wasn't?
I open it up, and one of the screws is the wrong screw. Okay.
And inside the rear case, the antenna module doesn't quite fit: it's from a similar model of phone.
And the volume key is the wrong one - the main board has four soldering connections, the volume key has three.
And the screen IS from the right model, but has clearly been replaced.
And there are a few extra bits of solder where there oughtn't be extra bits of solder. (There should never be extra bits of solder.)
At this point I checked the ticket just to make sure the customer details didn't say Dr. Frankenstein.
Then I BER'ed the thing for 'unauthorized rework', because there is no 'are you out of your tiny mind' option in the BER menu.
I open it up, and one of the screws is the wrong screw. Okay.
And inside the rear case, the antenna module doesn't quite fit: it's from a similar model of phone.
And the volume key is the wrong one - the main board has four soldering connections, the volume key has three.
And the screen IS from the right model, but has clearly been replaced.
And there are a few extra bits of solder where there oughtn't be extra bits of solder. (There should never be extra bits of solder.)
At this point I checked the ticket just to make sure the customer details didn't say Dr. Frankenstein.
Then I BER'ed the thing for 'unauthorized rework', because there is no 'are you out of your tiny mind' option in the BER menu.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Hyenas Don't Learn
Fault: touchscreen not responding
My notes: One side of the case is not assembled correctly. One screw is missing and all of the others show damage. The volume key has been ripped off the main pcb. The touchscreen connector has been broken. The top right corner of the main pcb has a crack in it, which is unrepairable.
Is ripping the volume key apart some kind of signature, like a mobile phone serial killer? That's three now. I'd better go find the phone that pocket-dials the cops.
Oddly enough, this customer did not reject a quote from us: this is the first time we've seen this phone. Apparently they figured if they were going to send it in for repair, they'd make damn sure it was good and broken first?
My notes: One side of the case is not assembled correctly. One screw is missing and all of the others show damage. The volume key has been ripped off the main pcb. The touchscreen connector has been broken. The top right corner of the main pcb has a crack in it, which is unrepairable.
Is ripping the volume key apart some kind of signature, like a mobile phone serial killer? That's three now. I'd better go find the phone that pocket-dials the cops.
Oddly enough, this customer did not reject a quote from us: this is the first time we've seen this phone. Apparently they figured if they were going to send it in for repair, they'd make damn sure it was good and broken first?
Tickets of the Day
Note: handset replaced, previous handset had same fault
Fault: Cx not happy with battery life - only lasts for 4 days.
...sounds like a manufacturer issue. I'd report it to them, but I'm pretty sure they already know. Let me check for a service bulletin... manufacturer: all, model: all current models...
You dip.
Fault: The screen is broken. Too sensitive. it unlocks in pocket and pocket dialed the police accidentally without the customer knowing
a) touching the screen doesn't unlock the phone
b) yes, they are complaining that their phone works too well
c) I bet the police nearly bust a gut laughing at you
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
Location, location, location
Today I discovered that my line managers just don't want to let me properly test the phones!
From shop Telefonica, Tottenham Court Road, London.
Fault Description: keeps turning itself off in a particular location and won't turn back on - usually train/tube station and place of work
I asked to go down to London for the day to test this out, but they said no!
I don't know where the place of work is, but I was willing to try as many bars, clubs, and theatres as it takes in case one of them was it.
I just care about customer service.
From shop Telefonica, Tottenham Court Road, London.
Fault Description: keeps turning itself off in a particular location and won't turn back on - usually train/tube station and place of work
I asked to go down to London for the day to test this out, but they said no!
I don't know where the place of work is, but I was willing to try as many bars, clubs, and theatres as it takes in case one of them was it.
I just care about customer service.
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