Bad, Bad, Bad

The fault: the signal has been very bad since the phone was repaired for a power problem.

I check the phone; there's no to low signal. The RF connector, which is a little metal dohickey stuck on the back of the phone which you can plug stuff onto, is badly damaged.

I check the repair history.

The phone was in in January.

I'm expected to believe that the customer wasn't worried that they had no signal for 11 months, on a phone that somehow has a common form of customer-caused damage? Pull the other one, dude.

The fault: 'touchscreen crashing'.

I don't even. What the? I'm trying to guess what the phone, the touchscreen, or the customer are actually doing, and I got nothing.

The fault: same problem as last time, please exchange

1. A giant crack in the touchscreen is not the same fault as liquid damage on your charging port.
2. Every time a phone is exchanged, a network or brand accountant keels over and dies. Just dies.
3. You do have a point though - I think the underlying problem is the same.

Fault description: Software issue.

I KILL YOU. I KILL YOU DEAD.

Software is clearly ruled out, as it's never software when the customer says it is, but it could be anything else from a faulty wifi to a full moon. Sent it NFF with the most unsnarky note I could manage (borderline).