Og Fix Phone

Ahh, Monday morning. Will the first phone set the tone for the week?

Hope not.

When I looked at this phone, I pretty much instantly realized the full tale, but let me unfold it for you as it occurred:

Someone smashed their touchscreen. They then sent their phone in as a warranty repair. We said 'lol no warranty', and offered them a quote to fix it. They refused the quote, and got the phone back as-is.

They then went to the zoo, where they asked the hyenas for a cheaper repair. (I assume, based on what I saw). Then, happy in the knowledge that no one would ever guess how sneaky they were, they sent the phone back to us for repair with its unbroken touchscreen. Surely now it will be in warranty!

I then receive a phone with the problem 'touchscreen not working', in the following state: the touchscreen is working (a minor miracle). The inside of the touchscreen is a mess of smudges, glue, and clearly defined fingerprints. One screw is missing from the back. The volume key has been torn off.

"You get what you pay for," we say. "Here is our quote. Again."

As far as the Evil Empire is concerned, at this point we have permission to shoot you, so good luck. It's us or the hyenas again.