Batteries do What?

Work is becoming more routine, but anything involving the public
attempting to use technology is never going to be completely routine.
I do have a Public Service Announcement:

Things That Are Not Battery Problems:

- the touchscreen is shattered
- some of the buttons don't work
- there's an echo during a call
- texts sometimes fail to send

Things That Are Battery Problems:

- the battery

Speaking of batteries, if yours starts overheating and swelling up,
'software upgrade requested' is just not going to be sufficient.

I also got the most helpful, useful ticket ever today, though, so
kudos to the customer or retail worker who wrote it:
"water damage"
Why, yes. You are absolutely correct. I was able to very quickly
confirm that your phone is now a stylish paperweight and move on to
the next, and I do appreciate that.

 I did also get an amusing error today. Someone's phone software got
corrupted, and was giving some very peculiar readings for the battery;
they noticed that the phone thought the battery had no charge but kept
working fine. Going into the readings, I noticed that the phone was
also reporting the battery temperature as -97 C.

This led to Daniel arguing "but what if the phone is right? I think we
should be concerned...", while Laslo wanted to know whether there is a
new Ice Age or whether the phone might be from the last one, as it
*was* an older model.

Oh, and today's phones that were 'fixed' by plugging them into the
charger for ten minutes: 2. Apparently the 'software update' option
costs about 20-25 pounds, so that's how much two people paid for me to
plug their phones in today. I should offer a special sideline service:
for 50 quid, I'll come to your place and plug your phone in.