Ticket(s) of the Day

Today we have a tossup for Ticket of the Day between two customers.

First is the customer who informed me that the on and off switch on
the side of the phone wasn't working so they had to pull the battery
out. This is, in itself, not a bad problem description.

Unfortunately, on that model of phone, the power key is on the front.
Only the camera and lock keys are on the side of the phone. I don't
know what this customer is doing with their phone and I'm pretty sure
neither do they.

Second is a ticket I had to actually bring home with me:

"Fault Description: slow, disrupted connection to network and wifi,
when compared to exact same model. sms app mixes up when contacts
arrive, this means texts turn up everywhere. runs hot. opening apps
still stutters and does not run smoothly again in comparison to other
gs1."

a) so get another frickin' gs1 and leave me alone;
b) not sure whether this is a trouble ticket or a review;
c) on testing, No Fault Found - and the first thing I tested is
whether you hacked the phone software, 'cause you sound like the type.

And as a runner-up, we have the epic saga of Can't Send Texts. I get
this phone and see it comes up as a 30-day bouncer; we've seen it
before. So I hastily check the repair history, and the saga unfolds:
Can't Send Texts sends the phone in with exactly that problem. It is
sent back with a software update, which means we didn't find anything
wrong with it. It comes back to us a second time, same fault. This
time, we return it as No Fault Found. But! It comes back to us a third
time, same fault! This time, we send it back with new screws. And
then... then it comes back to us, same fault, a fourth time - and
lands on my desk. Joy! IT'S YOUR SIM CARD, BUDDY. But to cover my
arse, I send the stupid thing through calibration testing, wiltek
testing, you name it, we tested it: logged as No Fault Found.